19 months ago today I woke up and prepared to spend my first day without my daughter. I started the journey of a lifetime without her. A lifetime, it is so hard to explain this undefined amount of time, without the one thing you dreamed of the most. Everyday I wish I could turn back the hands of time that move so quickly leaving her further in our past. To explain a love and loss that is so fierce some days you can’t breath for it consumes you, others your ok, this is grief I guess!

It’s been 3 months but I’m finally getting my blog on again. I’m ready to write and share our journey once more. It feels right, but it hasn’t for a while which is why I’ve not been posting anything. In the depths of a night of getting up and down with my beautiful rainbow baby boy I wrote this poem… I hope if you can’t relate to it you can appreciate the words. Thank you as always lovely people for supporting, encouraging and helping us through everyday.

A…

A breath never drawn

A birthday never sung

A life gone in an instant

A childhood never begun

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A family that lost one

A space never filled

A lifetime of missed out memories

They said nothing could be done

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Parents without their little girl

A brother without his sister

A picture never taken

A lifetime thinking how much we miss her

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A rainbow came after

A light after our storm

A reminder good things happen

A gift in the bluest form

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A family once more

A birthday with a baby

A life that starts to move again

A second chance, just maybe

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As sunlight dawns we look for signs

A robin, the whitest feather

When darkness falls we look for stars

A reminder my darling, one day

A time will come

A time when we will all be together.

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For Betty. Until that time. My beautiful girl.