19 months ago today I woke up and prepared to spend my first day without my daughter. I started the journey of a lifetime without her. A lifetime, it is so hard to explain this undefined amount of time, without the one thing you dreamed of the most. Everyday I wish I could turn back the hands of time that move so quickly leaving her further in our past. To explain a love and loss that is so fierce some days you can’t breath for it consumes you, others your ok, this is grief I guess!
It’s been 3 months but I’m finally getting my blog on again. I’m ready to write and share our journey once more. It feels right, but it hasn’t for a while which is why I’ve not been posting anything. In the depths of a night of getting up and down with my beautiful rainbow baby boy I wrote this poem… I hope if you can’t relate to it you can appreciate the words. Thank you as always lovely people for supporting, encouraging and helping us through everyday.
A breath never drawn
A birthday never sung
A life gone in an instant
A childhood never begun
A family that lost one
A space never filled
A lifetime of missed out memories
They said nothing could be done
Parents without their little girl
A brother without his sister
A picture never taken
A lifetime thinking how much we miss her
A rainbow came after
A light after our storm
A reminder good things happen
A gift in the bluest form
A family once more
A birthday with a baby
A life that starts to move again
A second chance, just maybe
As sunlight dawns we look for signs
A robin, the whitest feather
When darkness falls we look for stars
A reminder my darling, one day
A time will come
A time when we will all be together.
For Betty. Until that time. My beautiful girl.