Starting again.. again.. #36

19 months ago today I woke up and prepared to spend my first day without my daughter. I started the journey of a lifetime without her. A lifetime, it is so hard to explain this undefined amount of time, without the one thing you dreamed of the most. Everyday I wish I could turn back the hands of time that move so quickly leaving her further in our past. To explain a love and loss that is so fierce some days you can’t breath for it consumes you, others your ok, this is grief I guess!

It’s been 3 months but I’m finally getting my blog on again. I’m ready to write and share our journey once more. It feels right, but it hasn’t for a while which is why I’ve not been posting anything. In the depths of a night of getting up and down with my beautiful rainbow baby boy I wrote this poem… I hope if you can’t relate to it you can appreciate the words. Thank you as always lovely people for supporting, encouraging and helping us through everyday.

A…

A breath never drawn

A birthday never sung

A life gone in an instant

A childhood never begun

*

A family that lost one

A space never filled

A lifetime of missed out memories

They said nothing could be done

*

Parents without their little girl

A brother without his sister

A picture never taken

A lifetime thinking how much we miss her

*

A rainbow came after

A light after our storm

A reminder good things happen

A gift in the bluest form

*

A family once more

A birthday with a baby

A life that starts to move again

A second chance, just maybe

*

As sunlight dawns we look for signs

A robin, the whitest feather

When darkness falls we look for stars

A reminder my darling, one day

A time will come

A time when we will all be together.

*

For Betty. Until that time. My beautiful girl.

9 thoughts on “Starting again.. again.. #36

  1. So beautiful, So heartfelt. You are so brave to share your grief and inspiring to others by sharing your courage xxx loads of love to you xxx

    Like

  2. We are so proud of you Jen , there will always be a little hole in our hearts for you and baby Betty , your poem is beautiful , that pain is so raw still , take comfort with those gorgeous boys of yours , they will always be your rocks xxxxxx 🌹

    Like

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