Month: August 2016

I literally can’t believe the summer holidays are nearly over! I remember a couple of weeks ago thinking what was I going to do with Archie for 7 weeks – now we have 1 1/2 left and I’m wondering where it went! I have to say we havn’t done anything spectacular – but we have had a lovely time together and to be honest it’s just lovely to have him around all day everyday, he’s a real pleasure to have around the house. It’s hard being this pregnant as I feel guilty as I would love us to go out and about everyday but I just don’t have the energy to do it at the moment. He’s been such a good boy tho and seems to have been content with catching up with friends and having time at home playing with his toys and watching films, which he doesn’t get a huge opportunity to do when he’s at school! 

Today we had a day trip to Weymouth Sealife Park, my brother and his girlfriend have this week off so they came with us which was lovely – and it was nice to have the extra pairs of hands and eyes! We had a voucher for 40% off which gave us a brilliant discount getting in (I don’t think it’s overly worth the £23.50 to get in without the discount) but just over £14 each was a good price as there is quite a lot to see and some cute little rides for the kids! They also give you a little booklet to collect stamps as you go round which is a fun thing for the children to do whilst they are looking at each area of the park. There was a brilliant splash zone/paddling bit, although I had his swimming stuff Archie wasn’t really fussed about going there – but if you take a picnic and swim bits on a hot day I think you could easily spend all day there. 
(What 5 year old is a fan of queueing… Definitely not this one) (Archie and his Uncle Tom)

There’s parking just outside which was £6 for 6 hours – I had seen reviews on trip advisor complaining about this but I personally think that sort of price is to be expected, it’s the same if you visit the Oceanarium in Bournemouth you have to park in the public car park which is run by the council so in peak season it’s to be expected! And for almost a whole day I don’t think it’s too bad – it’s not like we do it every day. 
(Not the best light but fab seeing all the fish in the background!)

After the Obligatory end of the trip stop at the gift shop we headed out to the seafront and had a lovely long walk all along the promenade and got some late lunch at a lovely beach cafe. Archie had an ice cream that was almost as big as his head so he was very pleased with that and it kept him quiet for a minute or two! The weather has been amazing today so it made the whole day even more enjoyable. All in all it was a fab day out and nice to spend a whole day out – we’ve done loads of walking so I’m officially knackered now! But it was worth it as Archie really enjoyed it! 

I’m looking forward to making the most of the next week and a bit – even tho we aren’t out doing glamorous things everyday we are enjoying our time together all the same and Archie has grown up so much this last year whatever we seem to do it’s enjoyable as he’s at that age now where he listens, plays or gets on with whatever we are doing! Don’t get me wrong he still has his odd moments doesn’t any child. I’m still trying to imagine what next summer will be like with Sunshine and Archie together – I’m sure he will seem so much more grown up again with a little sibling in tow and we will have to adapt the holidays to suit the both of their ages, but I can’t wait for it! I know I said before I’m finding it hard to think towards the future but I’m trying to let myself have the odd indulgent daydream about what life will be like with my 2 lovely children, if it all works out I think it’s going to be pretty damn good. 
(Check out my Sunshine shaped belly button which is well and truly never going back to normal! Ha ha!) 

Jen 

Recently I realised that It’s hard to feel down when your on holiday after we spent a week in Mallorca with my mum and dad. I always think the sunshine provides a beautiful prospective on all things in general. Not only does it put you in a better mood, or make you a sweaty fat mess (in my case) ha ha! But it allows you to see the beauty in things you don’t always notice. 

I have spoken before about how I favour the sun over the dark, rainy miserable days. But like all things we need those to make us appreciate the better ones. Just like when you feel sad, you need those bad days to appreciate when you feel happy again. When you feel ill or under the weather sometimes you need a reminder of how horrible it is to feel like that so when you are better you appreciate ‘feeling normal’ again! 

When Betty left us we never went away, as nice as it would of been to escape for a while and be on our own our circumstances at the time did not allow. So this summer holiday has been a real opportunity to not only spend time as a family which we don’t get as much chance as we would like to at home but it was also an opportunity for me to stop, switch off and reflect. I was worried at first that I would start to feel a bit crazy with nothing to do but I was actually ok! Be it the weather, the relaxation or not being at home or maybe it was a combination. But it’s a positive step (I think) I don’t have a clue about any of this really, grief, loss, I’m learning as I go. But I really do think I’m actually starting to feel ok! I know that sounds such an odd thing to say! But it’s true. It’s difficult to explain maybe if your reading this and you’ve experienced something similar you can relate. But when you can start to find enjoyment in ‘things’ again I think it is a good indicator that actually things are going to be ok. 

When you no longer go through the motions of day to day life like a robot day after day just managing to make it to the next, when you drink in your surroundings and stop feeling guilty for enjoying the simple things that the loved one you left behind is not there to see, you can know it’s going to be ok! Our life will always be a little different now – our journey has changed its course, not through our own choice but I am starting to accept that things will be different now, but understand that they can and will be good. The sunshine and time to reflect has shown me that. And for that I am grateful. Betty is there somewhere, I’m sure of that. Her life was worth something. I would do it all again just to see her and hold her regardless of the outcome because that is what love is, unconditional. We love even tho we know one day we or others will be without us or them but we have to do it because it’s what we do as human beings. 

I know Betty shines through in her Brother Archie and in Sunshine! They will both be my reminder daily that she was here and always will be. I know that we can do this as hundreds before us have and many ahead will do. It’s not been nor will it be easy but it’s achievable. I am proud of myself and my family of how far we have come in such a short space of time. Who knows what we can achieve in the future it is all there for the taking – the sky’s the limit and Betty is there, a shining star, the brightest of them all guiding us along the way reminding us of how precious life is. 10 months ago we said hello and goodbye, we changed as a family, individuals, a couple. We learnt lessons many will never have to, we had to accept a situation we didn’t choose, but we are facing it head on, we are still standing, we love eachother more and we appreciate everything that little bit more. Sunshine, showers or rainbows whatever the weather we will take it in our stride for that is all we can do. 

Jen 

(Pic of us on hols – Archie mid eye rub! Most the other pictures of him he is pulling a face!!)